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Saturday, Sept. 12, 2009

8:22 p.m.

So... five months I think? Six?

Anyway, fuck it. Way too much shit has gone down in that time and there's no way I would have never found the time to record it.

Biggest "revelation": I have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Long story, can't be fucked detailing. I found out a couple months ago and have had to wean off the Effexor (Venlafaxine) medication I've been on for years in order to start any new treatment. Hopefully I'll get a prescription for Ritalin on Monday, an it's been a fucking long wait. I'm 28 years old FFS.

I also lost my job. Not a big deal as I was really starting to hate it, but I was made redundant through a parent company's receivership which meant I got none of my holiday pay and no redundancy pay. Over 100 employees got shown the door with ONE day's notice and ONE day's pay.

I'm grateful for the break, but I'm even more grateful for the $5000 that I had sitting in the bank which I can now live on while I piss around at home trying to finish my design portfolio and wean off anti-depressant medication.

Nonetheless, I've felt fucking awful these past 2 weeks. I wish I had some BZP but I've had to give that up too.

Fucking ADD/ADHD. That explains so much of my personality it's ridiculous. It's almost embarrassingly obvious. Jeezus fucking Christ.

before - now